Sociological and multi-ethnic studies: Chapter 1

There is much disagreement in the world today. Different and varied ethnic groups seem to dislike other specific groups, based only on hearsay and stereotypes. It is my belief that what most people are missing is legitimate communication and therefore a heartfelt individual connection. In an attempt to bring about this understanding of different cultures, and if I may be so bold to say so - world peace; I offer this studious translation of a recently popular song from the musical genre consisting of a rhythmic speaking style accompanied by a repetitive backbeat. This style is typically written in a language foretowith unknown by the average Caucasian.

"Low" by Flo Rida
Translated into Nerdy Crackish by Jason Rivas

[CHORUS]
Look over there at that attractive young woman wearing fashionable denim pants, designed for the explicit purpose of showing off her posterior,
And the footwear adorned with fur
She has everyone in this entire establishment gazing in her direction
She just is dancing wildly and is in fact touching the ground periodically
And now without warning,
That attractive woman is gyrating her behind closer and closer to said ground

What about that woman wearing the bottom half of an exercise uniform that appears to be a size too big,
And those brand name tennis shoes that are attached with leather fastenings
She rotated and faced away from us and then proceeded to strike her sizable posterior so hard that a sound was made
She just is dancing wildly and is in fact touching the ground periodically
And now without warning,
That attractive woman is also gyrating her behind closer and closer to said ground

[Verse One]
I have never witnessed anything that would figuratively make me go insane, as witnessed by my carefree nature with money this evening,
The emotional ambiance was such that it would be worth a large sum of money to me at any rate, and I also have one last bottle of champagne left
Those voluptuous buttocks took most of the credit for what I am witnessing
That woman symbolized my erotic desires, she was someone I would like to take to bed
She was possibly someone who would be willing to do perhaps for a fee, given the fact that she was drinking an energy beverage that is specifically marketed as being able to boost your sexual energy
Stop and pause for approximately 60 seconds, I am wondering if my eyes are deceiving me…. Amazing!
I believe I saw that attractive young woman gyrating her backside closer to the ground
Which is visually different when viewed from such a close proximity
I could be tossing dollar bills up into the air onto this woman, but I am so well-to-do that I am actually using diamonds instead
So she can continue to dance provocatively, because I certainly have enough money for her to do so and I like showing how generous I am
But I will note that I prefer to watch women that are not clothed
That is what I like, in fact I love women to be naked
However, this woman returned my money and gems to me, so I redoubled my efforts by increasing the sum I was offering her
I have no issues with my financial situation, I realize what the money is being spent on
But she was wearing

[CHORUS]

[Verse Two]
Pardon me young attractive woman, what might I need to do for you to accompany me back to my residence?
If it is money, let me assure you that my pants are literally full of cash and I am willing to spend it
I have many ultra luxury sedans that may increase your desire for sexual intercourse
I also have high quality tequila that I can serve with ice cubes in order to facilitate vocalization during sexual intercourse
One thousand dollars?
Two thousand dollars?
Three thousand dollars? I implore you, because that is a great deal of money!
Do you believe that I am not being forthright, you coy woman
I am awesome and nobody is better than me, I will stretch the elastic that is holding my roll of money together to prove that I do not care about the money, but rather about you
So you see, that is the exact conversation I had with her, and immediately afterward she placed her thigh on my shoulder in a sensual manner
At that point, I knew that I would not have to continue persuading her
In fact that mixed drink of expensive cognac and cola has me feeling very strong and powerful
And that woman was so uncontrollably excited to have sexual intercourse that she almost wanted to maintain our current leg-on-shoulder postion
I felt so comfortable and fortunate, as if I were a four-leafed version of a plant of the Trifolium genus
This attractive young women was so sexually excited that I could compare her to a counter-top oven that browns bread in mere minutes
And I apologize for the description, but I was so erotically excited that I had to so fervently have sexual intercourse with her, that her body was then figuratively folded in half
And all because she had showed off her

[CHORUS]

[Verse Three]
That attractive young woman was amazing!
She was definitely worth the expense
That woman I was interested in took the money I offered her,
And I definitely have no need for her to return it given the fact that I am so satisfied with the way that she vigorously had sexual intercourse with me,
She got the three thousand dollars I had promised,
Even though I had to tolerate the fact that she had a tattoo in the small of her back directly above her behind

I was still very much interested in sexual relations with her, that erotically exciting woman even let me perform anal sex on her
She had me desiring to remain with her until very early the next day
I was almost of in my own world from the ecstasy and there was enough expensive champagne to continue drinking, but it got so sexually involved that those bottles were jostled and began effervescing and I was metaphorically reminded of male ejaculation
That woman would not cease and continued her activities including her previous dancing
That attractive young woman made short, rapid movements of tensing and releasing her arms and legs combined with brief pauses between those movements
And this was just another reason I had to give her the large sum of money which I had previously promised her
That woman was as cool and in-style as my inexpensive, lightweight, and overall very reliable semi-automatic pistol

[CHORUS]

Many have asked me to apply my open-mindededness and my cracker-ness to try to make this particular type of music more available to others not within the original group. After all if I, the palest, white guy in Sunburn City, can understand and then embrace, maybe there is hope for us all. I hope your mind was elucidated. I also hope that when someone asks you if you appreciate different cultures, that you can truthfully say "Fo' shizzle" -or- I concur.