Like Nostradamus, my predictions were not listened to in my own time; and not only because they were written in rhyming French quatrains. Unlike Edgar Cayce, my prediction was made while fully awake, but apparently the American public was asleep when heeding my warnings. You would have thought that I was speaking like Sylvia Browne, after smoking eighteen packs of cigarettes and gargling razor blades, but NO... my predictions were written clearly right on this very blogosphere; and still no one listened.
My prediction was not made psychically however, it was based on thorough scientific evidence and observations. I knew it would happen. I warned everyone; yet no one listened. What was this prediction? Allow me to include an excerpt from a previous blog, dated September 25, 2006:
...beware all of you humans out there... Next they may begin their plan for global domination... they have systematically invaded over the past 50 years... even our children are not safe...
And then once more from October 19, 2006:
Their plan is in full effect as is witnessed by the newest threat to our... way of life. No one... is now safe... The next step is the children! Our babies! [sic] It is obvious that they are the REAL terrorists.
Who were these terrorists of which I spoke? Were they Al-Quaeda? Of course not! We have no concern with them, or else we would be adding more troops to Afghanistan rather than just Iraq? Speaking of Iraq, is it them? Nope! Everything is going swimmingly there, haven't you heard? Are they the militant Islamists as a whole? Wrong again... they just want to open restaurants that specialize in Middle-Eastern cuisine. And finally is it that sleeper Obama...? Come on! Sleeper? Who are you anyway? Get real!
It is none of those potential culprits. It is.... stingrays! Yes stingrays. Those foul, finned sea-beasts that murdered Steve Irwin! I knew they were trouble and begged the human populace to kill them indiscriminately. No one listened and now they have struck again.
An eagle ray (a close relative with many political connections to the stingray) has leaped into a boat off the Florida Keys today, and stabbed a woman with its barb... in her neck... killing her! George Pine, an agent with the FFWCC (the Florida Fish and Wildlife Criminal Commission), was quoted as saying, "It was NO accident!"
Worse than the Illuminati, the Freemasons, or Tyra Banks; the Rays of the Ocean are on the forefront of secret conspiratorial organizations bent on world domination. Why have you not heard of them before? Well, if you had listended to me, you would have; but the second reason is... they're a SECRET organization. Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm sorry, I'm not fricking Fergie; I don't spell things out! I just present the facts; and those facts are stingrays, eagle rays, electric rays, sun rays, and X-rays are dangerous beyond measure.
I tried to start an organization to stop them, I called it "Ban Rays"; but I was sued by a certain sunglasses company. Now all there is to do is warn people once more, and hope to Poseidon that the killing of humans at the hands, or rather, the tail barbs, of ocean rays shall cease; and that the reinstatement of the Stingray Hunting Coalition shall be forthcoming. Death to the in-FIN-dels!
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