Your Favorite Neighborhood Restaurant

This blog is a paid advertisement...


"Hey you! It's me! The Applebee's Apple®! How you doing today? Just sitting there on your computer eating a snack. Why are you doing that, when you could be eating with friends down at Applebee's®. No friends you say, well come on down anyway and make some. I mean if even me, an apple, can make friends and get a city nicknamed after me, then why can't you?

It's simple... with Applebee's®! No one can resist someone who comes bearing gifts, like our all-new, deep-fried, deep-sea Bass Poppers® with Totally Tartar® dipping sauce.

Anyway, I can't say enough about Applebee's®. They are the best! Only they would help a down-on-her-luck talking apple. After my problems with marijuana, I'm glad for anything that comes along. I never would have thought I would have gotten so far into drugs, but before you knew it, I was fashioned into a makeshift bong for my supposed "friends". Not the kind of friends you'll make at Applebee's®. The type of friends who don't truly care about you deep down.

At Applebee's®, your friends will bring you a basket of crispy baked Lard Roll-ups®, only if you're health conscious that is.

But I am very thankful. There's not much work for an apple that sounds like a Southern black woman, but I'll take what I can get. Even though I thought it was pretty fucking stupid to have the new mascot for Applebee's® be a talking apple. I mean, the only thing stretching it even more is my new friend over here The Applebee's Bee®...."

"Hi, y'all! It's me! The Applebee's Bee®! How you doin' today? Me? I'm just dandy. Like candy. Haha, that's my little joke there. But why doncha just come on down to Applebee's®. If you do, I'll be sure to sting you. Haha, just kidding! Don't worry, I won't sting you. I'd die if I did, so I think that I won't. If you join me though, you can have a serving of pollen. Haha, just kidding y'all again.

What would really hit the spot would be an Applebee's® all, brand new, yummy-in-the-tummy, plate of Batter-Dipped Honeycombs®. Mmmm mmmm! Delish. You'll like them so much you'll be saying 'Yeah for Bee, yeah for bee.' And I'll say that's me! Tee hee hee..."

"Ouch!"

"Ooops! Sorry Apple. I guess I musta stung ya. Not much room in the recording booth"

"Arrrrggh. I feeel.... like I'm dyying! Visit my rotten core at your neighborhood Applebee's®"

"Dang! I guess there goes me too y'all. Hope you come see my dessicated husk of an exoskeleton at your neighborhood Applebee's®. Bye, y'all!