I am sure that the collective media is just having a ball this week. It is similar to the likes of the previous news fiascos (fiascoes?) such as TomKat / Brangelina / Bennifer; Michael Jackson v. Little Boys; B.J. and the Clinton; or the O.J. Simpson Show. It has seemed to have given the media such a raging, pulsating hard-on.
What more could they ask for? I mean, we all thought that a crazy astronaut driving 900 miles... in a diaper to kill a female rival for her lover's affection was newsworthy enough. CNN was so excited with "The Astro-nut" that they threw up in their mouths a little.
But no, it didn't end there, now we have the last chapter in The Saga of Anna-Nicole Smith. Her death began the denouement if you will. All the loose ends will be tied up and secrets revealed as the tale unfolds right before our eyes on 24-hour news television. When FOX News originally found out, they creamed in their jeans and let out a little, orgasmic grunt. E! could not be reached for comment because their head exploded... Scanners style.
But overall I'm sure the media will not dissapoint, and continue to feed our insatiable hunger (oxymoron, huh? shut up!) for edutainment news. Stupid? I think not! There is nothing more life-affirming than watching other people's tragedy. We as a society can't help but be drawn to pointless shit. And who better to deliver than the media.
Thanks guys for truly proving that there are barely any redeeming qualities to television news, except for the fact that you've got really cool corner graphics, bottom-screen tickers and catchy, pun-filled taglines. Oh... and apparently another Army helicopter crashed in Iraq, supposedly due to mechanical failure, but perhaps not. Iraq War?!? Fuck that! All I really want to know is how long Zsa-zsa Gabor's husband had been screwing Anna-Nicole?
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