Maybe Corvettes are next?

It has come to my attention, that there are some people filled with a heroic nature and saintly spirit. They have one thing on their minds, and that thing is.... revenge! Revenge for the sad and untimely death of Steve Irwin, the beloved Crocodile Hunter.

For those who may not know, Steve Irwin was maliciously killed by a stingray. These people have taken it upon themselves to rid the world of the scurge that is the stingray. The unscrupulous denizen of the deep that kills without mercy or provacation. The sea-beast from Hell that devilishly floats through shallow waters looking... nay, searching for its prey; contemplating its next horrible move.

Where will it strike next? Perhaps you will be its next victim. Be afraid, there is definitely no escape. It will bide its time and quietly lay in wait, maybe next to some coral or a sea anemone. It will silently eat another mollusc before it devours the soul of its next victim... YOU!

So I present a thunderous round of applause for those brave souls who have met this fiend head on. They have yanked a few of these monsters away from their Hellish hideouts, severed their piercing weapons, their "stings of DEATH" if you will, and tossed them on the beaches to suffocate and dessicate in the heat of the sun. A fitting death for such a creature.

And no doubt, one that Steve Irwin would applaud. Why I remember him constantly taunting, abusing, and then killing the wonderful, yet deadly, creatures of the world. How dare a member of the sting ray species take up such an afront to a human. We are the ones who kill indiscriminately, not them. If these stingrays think that they can usurp the endangered species list from us, then they have another think coming.

But beware all of you humans out there. Stingrays have begun killing in the open waters of the world. Next they may begin their plan for global domination in the aquariums. The same aquariums that they have systematically invaded over the past 50 years. At these aquariums, even our children are not safe in the touch tanks.

So the next time you see a stingray, whether it be in the waters of the Great Barrier Reef, off the shore of Oahu, or next to you on the bus... don't you believe for one second that he is a shy, unobtrusive dasyatid. He is a lethal killing machine! He is evil incarnate! So be a soldier for all humanity... kill something weaker that you don't understand. Steve Irwin would thank you for it.

As a closing note, I can only be reminded of the deaths of famous humans like Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy, both who, whilst innocently skiing, were murdered by heartless trees. If at that time, we had humans with such foresight as those who are currently butchering sting rays infidels... just think, what a beautiful and safe treeless world we would live in.