Peeves 2: Ecclectic Boogaloo

I strangely had a very positive response to the last blog which was all about a few of life's little annoyances which just really over-aggrevate. Therefore, I thought that I would add a few more. I have seen some of these in the past few days, so that's why it is fresh on my mind, and I'm writing a blog that has the same basic subject as the last one I wrote. So congratulation all! You asked for it... well, maybe about three of you anyways. Here it is... The Revenge of the Peeves!!!

People who insist on calling their completely mixed breed dog anything but. Labradoodles, Puggles, Cockapoos, Schnoodles, they are all mixed breeds, and are not a fancy AKC registered breed. Get over it, your dog is a mutt. "My dog is NOT a mutt! He is a Beagle, Pekinese, Fox Terrier, English Setter, Dogue de Bordeaux, and Shetland Sheepdog cross. A Beag-Peka-FoxEng-Dogue-Shet." Exactly! The only people who are more annoying than these people, are the so-called "breeders" who charge $1800 for a Chiweenie. That would be a cross between a Chihuahua and Dachshund. And, no that is not a very lame joke. I'm serious...

People who answer their cellphones in areas of the public which are supposed to be quiet, such as libraries or movie theaters. "Hello? No, I'm at the movies. No, I can't talk right now." If you couldn't talk, then why did you answer your damn phone? It should be on silent or vibrate. The only thing worse, is when the person answering their phone is apparently hard of hearing. "Hello? Hello? Hello?!? No.. What? WHAT!?! I'm in the library. I can't talk right now." And the only thing worse than that is when the person CALLING that person is apparently deaf. "Hello? I said Hello! HELLO! No. NO! NOOO!!! I'm in the library. I'm in the library! I'm in the LIBRARY!!! I can't talk right now. I can't TALK right now! I CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW!!!" You know what? Just hang up your phone asshole, and don't answer it again, unless you want your colon to be using your roll-over minutes. And of course, the only person worse than all these situations, is the one who actually continues to carry on a conversation. "Hello? Oh, not much. At the movies. It's OK. Little Man. Oh, well Marlon Wayans is a midget criminal who poses as a baby to get back the diamond that accidentally came into the custody of Shawn Wayans, a guy who really wants a baby. Well, while trite and pedantic, it does have a slight humorous nature to it that reminds one of a Looney Tunes cartoon. To be specific the one with Bugs Bunny and "Baby Finster". I give it one thumb down, but just on principle. But if you're in the mood..." Hey, Roger Ebert?!? Shut the fuck up, before I cut off those thumbs like The Pope of goddam Greenwich Village!

People who shake their drinks violently for six minutes before they drink them. Juice, milk, whatever! Are you trying to make it more flavorful? If there is THAT much sediment at the bottom of your drink, then I don't think you should drink it. The only thing worse is when they stop, look at the drink, deem the task incomplete, and continue shaking violently again.

Restaurants that won't serve your food how you like it. Case in point, a restaurant, especially one that mostly serves hamburgers, only cooking as low as medium. I don't care if it increases my risk of food-borne illness, I want my hamburger medium rare. The reason I even bother getting one out at a restaurant is because I could make one myself at home, and screw it up to the point of being medium or higher, and therefore not as tasty. Plus there, it wouldn't cost me eight dollars. And while you're back in the kitchen, just stab one of those stupid lawyers who started this whole thing, in the ass with a skewer.

People who stop at a stop sign, or in any such traffic situation, and clearly have the right of way, but insist that you go first. Are you that much of a control freak that you want to direct traffic? Were you a traffic cop in a previous life? Or are you just a jerk? And so help me if you give me that stupid-ass tiny hand wave to make me go one... more... time... OK! You pointed where I should go. It's on. Now instead of making my turn, I'm going to ram right into the front of your car. I guess you should have gone first, huh?

Well... not too many this time around. But they had substance. Maybe because they were all fresh on my mind, I divulged a little deeper into each subject. However, you never know when a peeve will strike next. Perhaps, when you least expect it. The end?

Coming soon: Return of the Peeve Panther

Ugh! That was horrible!