Leggo my LEGO

LEGO is discontinuing all US based production. It's also pretty much doing the same in Denmark, where the self-interlocking building bricks were first created and manufactured. The plan? To outsource the production of the toy line to Flextronics, a Singapore based company, that has factories in Mexico and the Czech Republic of all places.

Like a LEGO brick impaled in a shoeless foot, there are no winners here. Except of course, if you consider the CEO and stockholders of LEGO itself. In severance pay, the workers at the American and Danish factories are to receive 18,000 pieces each of the two-pronged blocks.

One soon-to-be-ex-employee was quoted as saying, "Add insult to injury why don't you?!? Those pieces are useless. I mean, c'mon! How can you ever make anything with those little two-jobbers all by themselves? You hardly even use them at all when you're actually making something in the first place!"

Another distraught worker worried about his future. "How am I ever going to get a different job. I mean, I was born to work at LEGO. Nothing else will fit in my hands, due to the fact that they are just frozen in a semi-circle like this!" He then pulled his hard-hat off the knob on his head and exited the building in sadness.

Speaking at the last production meeting at the Denmarkian... err, Danish factory, LEGO chairman, Jan Burgenstun expressed his most heartfelt sympathy to the factory workers as a whole. "Why don't you go to Duplo, motherfuckers!" A lone answer of "Duplo sucks!" was heard from the crowd of thousands.

Being obvious that there was no way to "play well", there was nothing more to do then begun destruction of the LEGO factory. A 300 foot tall toddler was brought in to step on it.

In related news, hundreds of Mexicans have appeared to have crossed the US border in a makeshift LEGO airplane.